Sad vs Depressed

At different points in my life I have been depressed, in other points of my life I have just be sad. To most they would seem like words that mean the same, but in the last 5ish years I have realised that although they are related, the mean two very different things and they are two very different emotions.

I am currently writing this at 1.41 am and I’m a little confused as to whether I am feeling depressed or just sad. Although to me, the two emotions a very different sometimes the lines between them can get blurred, so when it’s early in the morning and my brain won’t shut off for the night it can be hard to differentiate between the both.

I know, that in the morning when I wake up, my view of what I am currently feeling will be clearer. I know this because that is exactly what happened this morning. I woke up this morning and realised that I was just feeling a little sad. In hindsight, I could assume that it’s just sadness I am feeling right now, because that is what I was feeling this morning – however I know that in terms of my mental health specifically, the feeling of just being sad can be turn into feeling depressed incredibly quickly.

I feel like this is a very weird rambling that has occurred due to not enough sleep, but sometimes it’s good to just release those feelings in order to clear what is in your brain.

So, what do I believe to be sadness? For me, when I am sad, I will just have a little pit in my stomach, a little feeling that will linger with me but overall isn’t going to control my day. Normally, when I feel sad it is a result of something that is currently happening, it always has a cause.

Now, what do I believe to be depression? I feel like the biggest difference between when I feel sad and when I feel depressed is that the depressive feeling is far more controlling – it’s harder to get on with my day, and the pit is no longer in my stomach but is stretched over the whole of my body (does that make sense, probably not). And more often than not, if I am feeling depressed there is never a reason, it just happens, creeps up in a little attack. Sometimes, the depressive feeling can last a couple of days of poor mental stability sometimes it can be months, and then there is just the overall feeling that being depressed will never truly leave no matter how positive you feel.

When feeling like this, the main question I ask is why am I sad? Because as I said before, often if it is just sadness I can find a reason. This time however I both know and don’t know, is it the time of year, is it the little stress that have come with this time of year or am I feeling weird just because I am.

Something I will say though, is that it is okay. Whether it is sadness or it’s something more than that, it is okay. Feeling this way is okay, hurting is part of human nature and in a way, I am happy I hurt, because it means that I am human and I that I care.

I hope this weird little rambling wasn’t to odd. But I write these posts ultimately for me to look back on, and when I look back I want to remember all of it, even the worst of parts.  

Much Love, Holly xx